It's a Secret love affair

I see him in the evelator as he enters my building, but we say nothing to one another. Yet, our eyes lock onto one another.  His cologne is powerful and most intriguing as I remember the scent from my pillow.  He gets off on the 16th floor and I stand there in a trance hypotized by his gorgeous 6'5 scuplted body cut like a model with a 6 pack of steel.  His smile is bright and his teeth are gorgeous as he smiles because all eyes are on him.  He doesn't even turn aroud because he knows what he doing to me.  A part of me wish I could climb him like a mountain climber.  That man is so fine it's hard for me to keep a straight face. I am trying hard not to look at him to keep from given away our secret love affair.

It's 11:45am and I get the text message to meet him at our usual lunch spot.  It's a small off-grid diner where we sit in a cozy corner off the back away from the front door.  His hands politley stroke my thigh just to make his acquitences.  I am drawn into him with his beautiful hazel eyes, my lord help me for I don't understand how one man can captivate my body and mind at the same time.  What should I do?  This is not fair. I can't even take him home. 

Why must men like him enjoy secret love affairs?

Author's notes:
It's a Secret love affair is an excerpt from an upcoming book that is being written with a good friend.

Are you in love with a man who does not even see you?

Are you in love with a man who does not see you?  You see him but he does not even see that you exist unless he wants something.  That something is usually a task that will benefit his sexual needs, his career or his business.  After the task is complete, he throws you aside like a piece a paper.  He does not see your inner beauty let alone your outer beauty.  He does not see how smart you are and how sexy you can be.  He is looking for that magazine barbie that will be his eye candy.  He is not looking for a help mate or a purpose driven partner like you.

When things go wrong and they do, he comes to you because he knows he can depend on you.  So tell me why can't he see that you are his help mate and partner?  What is it that he cannot see in you?  Why can't he see the queen that you are?  What's missing?  Is there a sign on your forehead that says, not ready? 


When you fall in love with a man who does not see you, sometimes you block your true blessings by hiding behind someone that will never see you.     Do you jump to his every call or move?  Do you make sure you don't miss his presentation, his interview, his smile, his walk, and his call?  Do any of these characteristics sound like you? 


Until he can see you for the help mate that you are, then you are in love with a man that does not even see you.  So I ask the question again, Are you in love with a man who does not even see you?


Photo credits source-Pinterest

What about the power of praying girlfriend?

There is power in praying for your husband.  What about praying for a man that is not your husband yet, but you two are dating?  Does that count?  Think about it for a minute.  I don't mean praying for a man that you have just been dating for 3 months, but someone you have been serious about for a year.  Hopefully, it does not take that long to date someone before you realize that you want to exclusively grow and build with that person. 

As with the movie, War Room the wife is taught how to pray for her husband and how to build a relationship with God.  Before she starts praying for her husband, she had to realize who she belong to first.   What was that you asked?  She had to realized that she belong to God first before she belonged to her husband.  I believe that same idealogy can be put to a woman that is searching and desire to have a husband. A single woman has to realize that she belongs to God first.  Therefore, learning to pray for God to send her husband her way is a good start.  Most important, asking God to protect her heart and allow the one that he has choosen for her. After all, we don't want to make choices that result in heartache. 

Now, what if the man she has been dating is not the man God choose for her?  What should she do?  You guessed it, pray on it and talk to the heavenly father about it.  See, sometimes we go and talk to our girlfriends and it's not the Devine intervention that we need. So keep praying and focus on who you are and your walk. Your husband will come in due time.  Better yet, he will come in God's time.

Are you praying for a husband? 

photo credits: From Pinterest /hubpages 

What's your love language?

Love is a powerful word filled with strong emotional and embodies your heart and soul.    Your love language is how you express your feelings to your partner.  We all express our love language in different ways.  It's imperative that your relationship can identify your love language.  Being able to learn your partners love language will be essential to the relationship.  I read a book by Gary Chapman, called Five Love Languages  and he describe the five essential love languages.   

1. Words of Affection-these are verbal compliments that state how beautiful you are and can reference your smile or an outfit that makes you look sexy.
2. Quality Time- This is someones undivided attention that they give you without being on social media.  It's time dedicated solely to you.
3. Receiving Gifts-This is a visual expression of love.  It could be in the form of flowers, candy, a card, a love note, or jewelry.
4. Acts of Service-This is a form of service done that shows your partner that you appreciate them.  Things like cooking their favorite meal or dessert.  It's small things that say I love you, a back massage after a long hard day.
5. Physical Touch-This is the most powerful of the 4 love languages, because the touch is physical connection like kissing, caressing, sex, holding hands, and simple erotic touches.

 Are you a combination of love languages?  Everyone should have physical touch that is a given in any relationship.  Would you want your partner or future husband to be?  I would want him to be affectionate with his words, value his quality time, and adore his physical touch.  What's your love language?

You have a secret crush, do you tell?

You have a big crush on a man that may appear to some of your friends to be out of your league and maybe not on your level in their eyes.   He inspires you and motivates you to chase your dream and to believe in your dreams. You admire and love his work and you can visualize yourself telling him how much you admire him, but that small voice of rejection taps you in the shoulder to keep quite. What do you do?  Should you tell your secret crush that you would like to get to know him?  Or do you keep quiet and admire him from a distance? 

Well, now it's been a year and you still have not said anything to him about your attraction or your interest. Besides the fact that he is handsome, he has a smile that knocks you off your feet.   His position when he enters a room demands the attention of every woman and man because he has a light that is shining bright on him.  He is educated, he is intelligent, he is a child of God, and most importantly, he knows who he is.  A man that knows who he is and he knows his purpose is a powerful man that a sister must get to know.  His spiritual demeanor is luring to your spiritual woman and his body is amazing and you are drawned into him like a butterfly to a light.

You are ready to spread your wings like an eagle and soar high, but there is one problem.  He does not even know your name or even that you are interested in him.  Better yet, he does not even see you.  You haev a secret crush, do you tell him that you are interested?

What do you do?  Should you keep your secret or make the secret known?  Will he reject you?  Will he accept you.  So many questions, one asks. 

Photo Source: Pinterest Blackwomen

 

Why do people stay in Toxic Relationships

Why do women and men stay in toxic relationships? What is the purpose of being with someone who depletes you instead of adding value? Relationships do require equal work and commitment from both parties.  A relationshp's journey should not drain you nor should it become a burdern. 

So the first question I posed, why do women and men stay in toxic relationships? Let's start by defining a toxic relationship. A toxic relationship is one where you are not compatible with the person and as a result you loose who you are as you struggle to become someone your not. You try to become the person that they want you to be instead of being you.  You can actually loose yourself identity in a toxic relationship. You allow someone's opinion to shape you instead of allowing yourself to become whole independently of that person. 

Secondly, you have no peace of mind because the relationship depletes all of your energy and does not add any value to you or the relationship. A toxic relationship can be with someone that is bad for you emotionally and physically. It strarts with allinating you from your family and friends.  This person may not wants to control your every move and know where you are at all times.  It becomes tolerable then you just go through the emotions to keep down arguements.  It's not healthy to stay in these types of relationships. Some toxic relationship can lead to your own demise if you don't walk away from it sooner than later. 

What's is the purpose of staying with someone who depletes you and not adding value? When dating someone, the question is he or she going to add value to me and the relationship should cross your mind. You have to ask yourself are they going to be a taker, a giver, or a combination?  This should be a question that one ask themselves by the 2nd date. Don't you think?

If you are in a toxic relationship, you should evaluate that relationship immediately. God forbid, do not marry the person thinking they will no longer be toxic in your life.  Or that you can change them by becoming his wife or her husband.  Things will only get worse.  Don't commit to a life with a toxic person. That is not what those wedding vows meant.   

So, why do women and men stay in toxic relationships?
 

He asked you for a threesome, what do you do?

Here is a question that I have heard from couples and friends. Your significant other or husband asked you to have a threesome, what do you say? Intimacy should be between two people because adding a third person means problems, drama, and uncontrollable emotions.

Photo credit source: via Pinterest www.iadoremo.tumblr.com 

You should say no for so many reasons. With the first one asking yourself, why would you want another woman in your bedroom with your husband or significant other?  Why would you share such intimate and private moment with a stranger or even a friend. This opens up a door that can become dangerous.

 Let's review perfect example not to do open that door. I was driving from work one evening and a caller called the radio station discussing the act of a threesome.  The caller actually agreed to the threesome, but she regret doing it because it was with a friend. The caller stated she enjoyed herself, and found she could not leave her boyfriend for a woman.  The friend wanted her to leave her boyfriend for her, but she lived her man more.  However, their friendship ended because it was now awkward and uncomfortable. Three lives affected by fulfilling a fantasy for one night. 

So my question to all the ladies, why would you open the door for another woman to enter your bedroom? This room should be scared and treasured. Is your love and inhibitions not enough? You should never allow another woman into your bedroom with you and your husband  let alone boyfriend that you are dating. This is an open invitation to keeping an open relationship. 

If your husband came home  right now and asked you, what would you say? Would you fulfill his fantasy for a threesome?