He asked you for a threesome, what do you do?

Here is a question that I have heard from couples and friends. Your significant other or husband asked you to have a threesome, what do you say? Intimacy should be between two people because adding a third person means problems, drama, and uncontrollable emotions.

Photo credit source: via Pinterest www.iadoremo.tumblr.com 

You should say no for so many reasons. With the first one asking yourself, why would you want another woman in your bedroom with your husband or significant other?  Why would you share such intimate and private moment with a stranger or even a friend. This opens up a door that can become dangerous.

 Let's review perfect example not to do open that door. I was driving from work one evening and a caller called the radio station discussing the act of a threesome.  The caller actually agreed to the threesome, but she regret doing it because it was with a friend. The caller stated she enjoyed herself, and found she could not leave her boyfriend for a woman.  The friend wanted her to leave her boyfriend for her, but she lived her man more.  However, their friendship ended because it was now awkward and uncomfortable. Three lives affected by fulfilling a fantasy for one night. 

So my question to all the ladies, why would you open the door for another woman to enter your bedroom? This room should be scared and treasured. Is your love and inhibitions not enough? You should never allow another woman into your bedroom with you and your husband  let alone boyfriend that you are dating. This is an open invitation to keeping an open relationship. 

If your husband came home  right now and asked you, what would you say? Would you fulfill his fantasy for a threesome? 

Marriage-Is he ready for marriage?

Is he ready for marriage? How does one know when a prospective mate or someone your dating is ready for marriage? You learn these things by communicating up front in the getting to know me phase (Date 1) before you invest time in a relationship. Before he says 2 years later he is not ready for marriage or he is never getting marriage.

 

I have heard few pastors preach on this matter. Most say, all men know when they are ready for marriage. I agree with that statement. If he has a true relationship with God, he will be able to recognize his wife when the father presents her to him.  So, if your dating a man and he tells you up front that he is not looking for a wife or he is not ready for marriage believe him.  Allow him to get himself together and ready for marriage. 

 

Men and women mature at different ages and that's okay. Men like to have themselves together before stepping into a committed marriage. Most real men pride themselves on being able to be a provider of the household. I have watched friends and associates  go through the joy of dating someone and pressuring him into marriage only for them to get divorced less than a year because he was not ready. He only did it to shut her up. Most importantly, a man chasing his dream may or may not be ready for a wife.

Photo Source: Corbis via Facebook

Wise words to live by, allow him to be ready for marriage and not pressured into marriage so that you can have longevity of a healthy and happy marriage.  

Is the guy your dating, ready for marriage? 

What type of relationship defines your love life?

I was reading an article by Morgan Miller, 23 Types of Relationships that define your love life.  The link to the article is http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/dating-game/types-of-relationships and you can read more about it and other referenced articles.  I will be discussing these various topics as I agree with some of Morgan's statements that compatibility is going to be key to defining the type of relationship that you are apart of.

Photo Credits: Pinterest/thisisyourconscience.com

Let's start with the five types of relationships that Morgan Miller discusses that defines your love life because these were interesting to me:

1. The Co-dependent Relationship
2. The Controlling Relationship
3. The Open Relationship
4. Friends With Benefits
5. Toxic Relationships

The Co-dependent Relationship, Morgan describes as being too dependent on your partner and not being able to make decisions without him or her.  I describe this as a needed or clingy relationship as the person relies solely on their partner to exist.  There is insecurity in this relationship with the partner that is dependent on the other.  Most men that I have talked with cannot stand an insecure woman and most women do not want an insecure man.  For me, I prefer not to be in this type of relationship because I need my partner to be able to make decisions without me at times especially when it comes to dinning out, attending movie or sports events.  This type of relationship cannot have longevity because it's too needy.

The controlling relationship and the Toxic Relationships, Morgan describes these separate with Controlling relationship as one partner dominant in the relationship while the other just follows his or her lead.  This relationship has signs of an abusive relationship that can become very toxic to the person's well being. Morgan describes Toxic Relationships as those that appear to be happy from the outside but miserable on the inside.  These type of relationships drain the life and happiness out of you.  It's like saying misery loves company and this is not a healthy relationship that if you define it in the first 30-60 days, then you need to remove yourself from this relationship as it will grow into more than a toxic relationship.  It will eventually lead to an abusive relationship. 

Friends with Benefits and The Open Relationship that Morgan describe are the same in the sense that you are sleeping with someone other than your partner.  Morgan defines Friends with benefits as sex with no attachments which results in someone falling in love.  I agree with this definition based on past experiences.  Sex is emotional and women and men do become emotionally attached.  His definition for The Open Relationship is described as having intimate relationships with others outside of the relationship because you are not open to intimacy with once another, but committed to the relationship.  Now, that seems more like your still in the dating phase of a relationship where no one has committed to a relationship of monogamy.

For those that are new to dating, which of the five types out of 23 define your relationship?  Do you even think about this when you are dating a person?  Does it cross your mind to define the type of relationship after 3 dates?