Are you in love with a man who does not even see you?

Are you in love with a man who does not see you?  You see him but he does not even see that you exist unless he wants something.  That something is usually a task that will benefit his sexual needs, his career or his business.  After the task is complete, he throws you aside like a piece a paper.  He does not see your inner beauty let alone your outer beauty.  He does not see how smart you are and how sexy you can be.  He is looking for that magazine barbie that will be his eye candy.  He is not looking for a help mate or a purpose driven partner like you.

When things go wrong and they do, he comes to you because he knows he can depend on you.  So tell me why can't he see that you are his help mate and partner?  What is it that he cannot see in you?  Why can't he see the queen that you are?  What's missing?  Is there a sign on your forehead that says, not ready? 


When you fall in love with a man who does not see you, sometimes you block your true blessings by hiding behind someone that will never see you.     Do you jump to his every call or move?  Do you make sure you don't miss his presentation, his interview, his smile, his walk, and his call?  Do any of these characteristics sound like you? 


Until he can see you for the help mate that you are, then you are in love with a man that does not even see you.  So I ask the question again, Are you in love with a man who does not even see you?


Photo credits source-Pinterest

What about the power of praying girlfriend?

There is power in praying for your husband.  What about praying for a man that is not your husband yet, but you two are dating?  Does that count?  Think about it for a minute.  I don't mean praying for a man that you have just been dating for 3 months, but someone you have been serious about for a year.  Hopefully, it does not take that long to date someone before you realize that you want to exclusively grow and build with that person. 

As with the movie, War Room the wife is taught how to pray for her husband and how to build a relationship with God.  Before she starts praying for her husband, she had to realize who she belong to first.   What was that you asked?  She had to realized that she belong to God first before she belonged to her husband.  I believe that same idealogy can be put to a woman that is searching and desire to have a husband. A single woman has to realize that she belongs to God first.  Therefore, learning to pray for God to send her husband her way is a good start.  Most important, asking God to protect her heart and allow the one that he has choosen for her. After all, we don't want to make choices that result in heartache. 

Now, what if the man she has been dating is not the man God choose for her?  What should she do?  You guessed it, pray on it and talk to the heavenly father about it.  See, sometimes we go and talk to our girlfriends and it's not the Devine intervention that we need. So keep praying and focus on who you are and your walk. Your husband will come in due time.  Better yet, he will come in God's time.

Are you praying for a husband? 

photo credits: From Pinterest /hubpages 

What's your love language?

Love is a powerful word filled with strong emotional and embodies your heart and soul.    Your love language is how you express your feelings to your partner.  We all express our love language in different ways.  It's imperative that your relationship can identify your love language.  Being able to learn your partners love language will be essential to the relationship.  I read a book by Gary Chapman, called Five Love Languages  and he describe the five essential love languages.   

1. Words of Affection-these are verbal compliments that state how beautiful you are and can reference your smile or an outfit that makes you look sexy.
2. Quality Time- This is someones undivided attention that they give you without being on social media.  It's time dedicated solely to you.
3. Receiving Gifts-This is a visual expression of love.  It could be in the form of flowers, candy, a card, a love note, or jewelry.
4. Acts of Service-This is a form of service done that shows your partner that you appreciate them.  Things like cooking their favorite meal or dessert.  It's small things that say I love you, a back massage after a long hard day.
5. Physical Touch-This is the most powerful of the 4 love languages, because the touch is physical connection like kissing, caressing, sex, holding hands, and simple erotic touches.

 Are you a combination of love languages?  Everyone should have physical touch that is a given in any relationship.  Would you want your partner or future husband to be?  I would want him to be affectionate with his words, value his quality time, and adore his physical touch.  What's your love language?

You have a secret crush, do you tell?

You have a big crush on a man that may appear to some of your friends to be out of your league and maybe not on your level in their eyes.   He inspires you and motivates you to chase your dream and to believe in your dreams. You admire and love his work and you can visualize yourself telling him how much you admire him, but that small voice of rejection taps you in the shoulder to keep quite. What do you do?  Should you tell your secret crush that you would like to get to know him?  Or do you keep quiet and admire him from a distance? 

Well, now it's been a year and you still have not said anything to him about your attraction or your interest. Besides the fact that he is handsome, he has a smile that knocks you off your feet.   His position when he enters a room demands the attention of every woman and man because he has a light that is shining bright on him.  He is educated, he is intelligent, he is a child of God, and most importantly, he knows who he is.  A man that knows who he is and he knows his purpose is a powerful man that a sister must get to know.  His spiritual demeanor is luring to your spiritual woman and his body is amazing and you are drawned into him like a butterfly to a light.

You are ready to spread your wings like an eagle and soar high, but there is one problem.  He does not even know your name or even that you are interested in him.  Better yet, he does not even see you.  You haev a secret crush, do you tell him that you are interested?

What do you do?  Should you keep your secret or make the secret known?  Will he reject you?  Will he accept you.  So many questions, one asks. 

Photo Source: Pinterest Blackwomen

 

He asked you for a threesome, what do you do?

Here is a question that I have heard from couples and friends. Your significant other or husband asked you to have a threesome, what do you say? Intimacy should be between two people because adding a third person means problems, drama, and uncontrollable emotions.

Photo credit source: via Pinterest www.iadoremo.tumblr.com 

You should say no for so many reasons. With the first one asking yourself, why would you want another woman in your bedroom with your husband or significant other?  Why would you share such intimate and private moment with a stranger or even a friend. This opens up a door that can become dangerous.

 Let's review perfect example not to do open that door. I was driving from work one evening and a caller called the radio station discussing the act of a threesome.  The caller actually agreed to the threesome, but she regret doing it because it was with a friend. The caller stated she enjoyed herself, and found she could not leave her boyfriend for a woman.  The friend wanted her to leave her boyfriend for her, but she lived her man more.  However, their friendship ended because it was now awkward and uncomfortable. Three lives affected by fulfilling a fantasy for one night. 

So my question to all the ladies, why would you open the door for another woman to enter your bedroom? This room should be scared and treasured. Is your love and inhibitions not enough? You should never allow another woman into your bedroom with you and your husband  let alone boyfriend that you are dating. This is an open invitation to keeping an open relationship. 

If your husband came home  right now and asked you, what would you say? Would you fulfill his fantasy for a threesome? 

Marriage-Is he ready for marriage?

Is he ready for marriage? How does one know when a prospective mate or someone your dating is ready for marriage? You learn these things by communicating up front in the getting to know me phase (Date 1) before you invest time in a relationship. Before he says 2 years later he is not ready for marriage or he is never getting marriage.

 

I have heard few pastors preach on this matter. Most say, all men know when they are ready for marriage. I agree with that statement. If he has a true relationship with God, he will be able to recognize his wife when the father presents her to him.  So, if your dating a man and he tells you up front that he is not looking for a wife or he is not ready for marriage believe him.  Allow him to get himself together and ready for marriage. 

 

Men and women mature at different ages and that's okay. Men like to have themselves together before stepping into a committed marriage. Most real men pride themselves on being able to be a provider of the household. I have watched friends and associates  go through the joy of dating someone and pressuring him into marriage only for them to get divorced less than a year because he was not ready. He only did it to shut her up. Most importantly, a man chasing his dream may or may not be ready for a wife.

Photo Source: Corbis via Facebook

Wise words to live by, allow him to be ready for marriage and not pressured into marriage so that you can have longevity of a healthy and happy marriage.  

Is the guy your dating, ready for marriage? 

What type of relationship defines your love life?

I was reading an article by Morgan Miller, 23 Types of Relationships that define your love life.  The link to the article is http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/dating-game/types-of-relationships and you can read more about it and other referenced articles.  I will be discussing these various topics as I agree with some of Morgan's statements that compatibility is going to be key to defining the type of relationship that you are apart of.

Photo Credits: Pinterest/thisisyourconscience.com

Let's start with the five types of relationships that Morgan Miller discusses that defines your love life because these were interesting to me:

1. The Co-dependent Relationship
2. The Controlling Relationship
3. The Open Relationship
4. Friends With Benefits
5. Toxic Relationships

The Co-dependent Relationship, Morgan describes as being too dependent on your partner and not being able to make decisions without him or her.  I describe this as a needed or clingy relationship as the person relies solely on their partner to exist.  There is insecurity in this relationship with the partner that is dependent on the other.  Most men that I have talked with cannot stand an insecure woman and most women do not want an insecure man.  For me, I prefer not to be in this type of relationship because I need my partner to be able to make decisions without me at times especially when it comes to dinning out, attending movie or sports events.  This type of relationship cannot have longevity because it's too needy.

The controlling relationship and the Toxic Relationships, Morgan describes these separate with Controlling relationship as one partner dominant in the relationship while the other just follows his or her lead.  This relationship has signs of an abusive relationship that can become very toxic to the person's well being. Morgan describes Toxic Relationships as those that appear to be happy from the outside but miserable on the inside.  These type of relationships drain the life and happiness out of you.  It's like saying misery loves company and this is not a healthy relationship that if you define it in the first 30-60 days, then you need to remove yourself from this relationship as it will grow into more than a toxic relationship.  It will eventually lead to an abusive relationship. 

Friends with Benefits and The Open Relationship that Morgan describe are the same in the sense that you are sleeping with someone other than your partner.  Morgan defines Friends with benefits as sex with no attachments which results in someone falling in love.  I agree with this definition based on past experiences.  Sex is emotional and women and men do become emotionally attached.  His definition for The Open Relationship is described as having intimate relationships with others outside of the relationship because you are not open to intimacy with once another, but committed to the relationship.  Now, that seems more like your still in the dating phase of a relationship where no one has committed to a relationship of monogamy.

For those that are new to dating, which of the five types out of 23 define your relationship?  Do you even think about this when you are dating a person?  Does it cross your mind to define the type of relationship after 3 dates?